Saving Spike
by Mystiksnake
Summary: Xander has always hated Spike, but will finding him insane in the school basement do anything to change his mind? Will Xander be able to overcome his hatred to help the one person he never thought he would? Crossover but I'm not telling with what yet. You
1. Finding Spike

**Saving Spike**

_**Must Read…**_

Summary: Spike has just returned to Sunnydale after getting his soul. He has been in the new Sunnydale high school's basement for almost two weeks, slowly driving himself insane with the help of the First and the pain of having to relive all of the horrible things he did when he was without a soul. Meanwhile, Xander has been working on rebuilding the school upstairs. Now he is about to head down to the basement to see what needs fixing up down there.

Chapter One

**Finding Spike**

"Spike!"

Spike looked away from the taunting Drusilla as he heard a voice. This voice was new. Not like the usual ones who came to mock and tease him. All day long the normal voices speak. Hurting his head and his heart with malicious words and cruel lies. Scratching at the blackboard in his mind to make him cringe and cry. Make the chalk run like blood. Can't write with blood. Only for eating. It should know to stay chalk and let him write his thoughts. Not poems though. They just laugh at his poems, all of them laughing…

This voice was new though. And… familiar. Spike suddenly let out a whimper and scooted back against the wall. Familiar was bad he knew. Everyone he knew hated him. A new voice was just another one from his past to torture him, like the others. And more is bad. There is enough already. Wish this one would go away. Don't want any more. Too many. The basement must be overcrowded as it is. Maybe the voice would realize that and go away.

"Spike, is that you? Shit! It is you! Spike are you alright? What happened!"

Spike shook his head in confusion. The new voice is acting weird. It sounds almost like it cares. But…no one cares about me. Maybe…no…this is just a trick! Maybe Angelus learned how to change his voice. Make me hope. Than take it away and make me scream. Just like before. It is just one of his games. Not gonna play though. Won't answer. Won't work if I won't play.

"Not gonna play," Spike said to the voice. "Can't make me."

"Huh? Spike what are you talking about?"

"I know this is a game Angelus. You can't fool me. You changed your voice. Made it into honey, make me hope, then take it away and turn it back into soured milk. But I still hear the sour through the sweet Angelus. This game won't break me, 'cause I'm not playing and you can't make me."

"What...Spike I'm not Angelus. If you look at me you will find only a Xander shaped person. No vampire."

'Xander shaped person'. What? Angelus doesn't talk like that…only Red and…

"Xander?" Spike asked incredulously.

AN: Well, how was it? I hope that there are at least some people who are interested in this story. Anyways, next chapter will be from Xander's view, so it will be easier to understand, except when I have Spike talk out loud. Deal with it. He's insane remember? **Please Review!**


	2. Punishments

**Saving Spike**

**_Review Response: _**

**_Lilith Snape_**, **_Titan of Saturn_**, and **_Wicked R_**

Thank you so much for reviewing. I'm glad you like the story so far, and I hope you like this chapter just as much.

Now on with the story!

**_Last Time_:** "What...Spike I'm not Angelus. If you look at me you will find only a Xander shaped person. No vampire."

'Xander shaped person'. What? Angelus doesn't talk like that…only Red and…

"Xander?" Spike asked incredulously.

Chapter 2

**Punishments**

"Uh…yeah. It's me Spike. Are you alright?" Xander asked while trying to fight down the urge to insult the bleached blonde. Something was obviously wrong here, and as annoying as Spike is, Xander couldn't just leave without knowing that Spike would be alright.

He watched Spike frown at him and tilt his head sideways in confusion. Then Spike suddenly jerked and looked to the left and listened. A minute later he looked back at Xander and said, "You shouldn't be here. I'm not supposed to bring humans back home. Sire will punish me. You have to go before he gets back. Hurry, Dru's already calling for him!" he said panicky.

To say that Xander was confused would be an understatement. Spike appeared to believe that he was back in time, with Angelus and Drusilla. Although he referred to Angelus as his Sire, and Xander was sure that Drusilla had been. Could Spike be under some sort of confusion spell? Maybe I better get Willow and…

"Buffy! Did Angelus invite you here again? He didn't say you were coming. I would've tidied the place up a bit. Drusilla already punished me earlier, I guess she left now, and I forgot to clean up the bloodstains. I can clean them now if you like?" Spike said to the air beside him. "Got to remember to clean up after punishments. Sire gets as testy as you when I forget."

Spike suddenly looked up fearfully at the air beside him again. "I'm sorry. Spoke without thinking. I didn't mean any disrespect. Yes, I forgot my place. I'll wash my mouth out with soap now."

Xander watched incredulously as Spike presumably got up to do just that. As he walked by him though, Xander grabbed Spikes arm to stop him. "Spike," he said to the blonde vampire, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Got to wash my mouth with soap. I spoke badly of my Sire and the Slayer. I'm beneath them. Got to know my place. Always stepping out of line and wearing out my welcome. They're my betters. I have to more respectful. I just forget sometimes, and the lies I've learned come back." Then he looks straight at Xander and asks, "Are you one of the lies too Xander?"

Over the years Xander had gotten used to some seriously strange occurrences. But Spike calling him by his name, twice, took the cake. He was used to Spike calling him Whelp, or Doughnut boy, or one of the Slayer's Sidekicks. Not Xander. Never Xander. What the hell could be wrong with him?

Xander suddenly realized that Spike was still looking at him intently. What was it he had asked again? Oh yeah_. **"Are you one of the lies too Xander?"**_ What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Spike obviously had a few screws loose inside that head of his. Maybe it was too much hair dye. Sunk so far into his brain that he lost his marbles. Xander was tempted to snort at his mental joke, but managed to refrain himself when Spike's eyes suddenly drop sadly to the floor in front of him.

"Spike? What is it," Xander asked gently, surprising himself.

"It's just…no…never mind. Doesn't matter. I thought for a moment…but I was looking from outside in of the picture that I'm not in because I'm a vampire and don't photograph. Maybe I should take up sketching. I might stay in place then, but Sire would just rip it up. And the other people wouldn't stay still anyway. They'd move around and shift like static on a telly. So like I said…It doesn't matter."

Xander wasn't sure why that statement hit him so hard, but it did, and it felt like a punch to the gut. He knew within that instant that he must do everything in his power to help the blonde vampire he used to hate.

AN: I know that was pretty short, sorry. I'll try and make the next chapter extra long. So…What did you think? Please review!


	3. Things That Aren't There

**Saving Spike**

**Last Time:**

"Spike? What is it," Xander asked gently, surprising himself.

"It's just…no…never mind. Doesn't matter. I thought for a moment…but I was looking from outside in of the picture that I'm not in because I'm a vampire and don't photograph. Maybe I should take up sketching. I might stay in place then, but Sire would just rip it up. And the other people wouldn't stay still anyway. They'd move around and shift like static on a telly. So like I said…It doesn't matter."

Xander wasn't sure why that statement hit him so hard, but it did, and it felt like a punch to the gut. He knew within that instant that he must do everything in his power to help the blonde vampire he used to hate.

Chapter 3

**Things That Aren't There**

"Spike, I think I should get you out of here. Maybe a little fresh air will help clear your head. C'mon. Let's go outside," Xander said trying to get Spike out of the basement in hope of leaving the strangeness behind.

"Can't leave. They won't let me. Where did Buffy go?"

Xander frowned. "Buffy's at home with Dawn. She was never here Spike. Neither were Deadboy or Drusilla. It's all in your head. Or it might be a spell. I'll see if Willow can help. But right now I think it would be best if you came with me. I'm sure the sun is set by now. So come on."

"No no no no. Can't leave. He'll get mad. Blood will sing to blood. And he'll know I've been bad. Didn't you know? I'm one of the White Hats now, so I have to be good. No more Big Bad. Who was he? Not me. You should go Xander. It's not safe for you here. She called you her Kitten once, my Dru. Do you want to end up like the other kittens?" Spike asked loudly and with tears down his cheek as he finished by shaking Xander.

"Spike, please try and calm down. No one is going to get hurt here, I promise. Drusilla isn't even in America, and Angel is still in LA. And Buffy would never hurt you, so…"

"Never hurt me. Right. She's a bloody angel is what she is. An angel with talons and fangs and a wooden spear to shove into my bleeding heart. She's an angel all right, as much of an angel as my bloody poof of a Sire is…Ahhh!"

Spike clutched painfully at his head. "I didn't mean it! I'm sorry! I'll be good! Please stop! Please. I'll be good your good boy again Sire. I'll be your good boy. Won't speak unless asked a question. Promise Sire. Won't speak unless you let me. I'll be good."

Xander watched in fear as Spike cowered on the floor before someone who wasn't there. And the things he was saying. He knew he had to put a stop to it. Rushing forward, he grabbed Spike and hefted him over his shoulder. He was surprisingly light. Must not be getting enough blood. And so Xander carried Spike up kicking and screaming out of the school.

About an hour and some serious bruises later, Xander finally got himself and Spike back to his house. Tucking a finally exhausted Spike into his bed for some sleep, and desperately wishing he could do the same, as he was one tired and painfully sore hombre, Xander took out his address book and dialed a number on his phone.

"Hello, Giles? It's Xander. I need your help."

AN: How'd I do? Was it horrible? The worst thing you've ever read? Let me know by Reviewing! Oh and I was just joking about it being awful, so no telling me how bad it was…unless it is constructive criticism… but no being mean. Please. I could actually use some encouragement. Possibly even suggestions. So please let me know! Review!


	4. Leaving town

**Saving Spike**

Previously on Saving Spike

About an hour and some serious bruises later, Xander finally got himself and Spike back to his house. Tucking a finally exhausted Spike into his bed for some sleep, and desperately wishing he could do the same, as he was one tired and painfully sore hombre, Xander took out his address book and dialed a number on his phone.

"Hello, Giles? It's Xander. I need your help."

Chapter 4

**Leaving Town**

"You say he has been having delusions. Seeing people who aren't there?" Giles asked.

"Yeah. He was seeing Drusilla and Buffy and going on about being punished. He got really upset when he accidentally said something bad about Buffy and Angel. No wait. I mean Angelus. Yeah, he was really flipping out about me being there because Angelus was coming soon. But you know the weirdest thing Giles; he referred to him as Sire. He called Angelus his Sire, even though I'm fairly certain it's Drusilla." Xander said confused.

"Hmm. I suppose it makes sense that he thinks of Angelus as his Sire," Giles says thoughtfully.

"It does? And here I thought it didn't make a lick of sense whatsoever."

Giles smiles on his side of the phone. Xander, whom he though of as his own son, never failed to amuse with his comically blunt comments.

"Drusilla may have bit Spike, Xander, but I highly doubt she would have been sane enough to act as Sire to him. As Patriarch of their Aurelius family, Angelus would have been more suited to fill in the role of Sire for Spike. Teaching him the ways of being a vampire," Giles explained.

"So Angelus was like a step Sire for him. Alright I guess that makes sense. But Giles, why is he acting like this? Is it a spell? Or is he really…?"

"I'm not sure Xander. Although I do think it would be wise to keep him out of the school's basement. Seeing as that is where the Hellmouth is, the problem may lie with him being in such close proximity to it."

"Easier said then done Giles. The minute I leave him alone he is going to run straight back there. I mean you should have seen the fuss he made about leaving the place. What happens when I have to leave for a while? I'm not going to be able to let him out of my sight."

"Hmm. That does present a problem. Perhaps Angel would be of some help?"

"No way Giles. There's no way of knowing how Spike would react if he saw Dead Boy. Seeing him might throw him into shock or something. He's trapped inside his memories Giles. I don't think taking him to the person he is most afraid of at the moment is going to help him."

"(Sigh) You're right of course Xander. We'd best find another option. As Buffy is among his delusions as well, I doubt taking him to her is going to be of any help. What if…yes… I think I've found the answer. Why don't you take Spike and the two of you come over here to England? I'll just arrange for a flight tomorrow evening."

**And so the next day Xander and Spike took a taxi as soon as it was dark, to the airport. From there they took a flight to New York, where they spent the day in a fancy hotel room.**

"Spike come on, you've got to eat sometime. You're going to make yourself sick if you don't have some blood soon," Xander said trying to convince the blonde to have the blood he got him.

"Not hungry," Spike said stubbornly from where he was curled up on the couch.

"I know that, but you haven't eaten in days. You have to at least try. Spike? Come on Spike. You…"

"Where did they go Xander? They left me all alone. No yelling. No pain. All gone. Even Sire hasn't played with me yet. Did I do something wrong?" Spike asked Xander with tears in his eyes.

Xander frowned then sat on the couch next to him.

"Hey now. You're not alone. You've got me. As for your Sire, well, I guess Angelus and the others couldn't leave Sunnydale. Which is a good thing. They weren't treating you good Spike. And now that we're gone, they can't hurt you anymore."

Spike looked confused. "But they're supposed to punish me. I'm always messing things up. If they don't hurt me when I do wrong then I'll never learn."

Xander suddenly flashbacked to his father explaining the same thing to him when he was younger. It took years to realize that what his father had done to him wasn't right. And now here was Spike who seemed to be brainwashed with the same bullshit that he himself had believed as a child.

"Spike, that's not true. It's wrong for them to punish you like that. Everybody makes mistakes, even Angelus, and he doesn't get punished for them does he?"

"N-no. H-he just swears and yells a lot when his plans go all wrong. And then h-he blames me for th-them. But I must have been at fault s-somehow for them going wrong. He said so… and Sire doesn't lie," Spike explained shakily.

"Look Spike. I met Angelus, and from what I could tell, he's what I like to call a sadist. Someone who likes to cause others pain for the pure enjoyment of doing so. He doesn't need a reason to hurt someone. He just will. And I think that's the real reason why he hurts you. It's not because you've done something wrong. It's because he likes causing you pain. Same with Drusilla."

"And Buffy?" Spike asked in awed confusion.

"Buffy? D-did Buffy really hurt you Spike? I know she and you had a thing, but…"

"She hurt me. Lots of times. No one was looking so it was alright. Tried to help her. Loved her. But she only ever hurt me again. Called me an evil soulless thing incapable of loving. That I didn't feel anything, so it was okay to hurt me. She used me and hurt me, but it's okay 'cause I'm beneath her like Angelus. And Cecily, but she's dead now, Angelus made me kill her."

Xander closed his eyes as if in pain. In truth, he was in pain. Spike may be a vampire, but to do what Spike said she had done to him…Xander couldn't believe what he was hearing, but Spike had no reason to lie. But then why…

"Spike. If that's all true…why did you try and…rape…her?"

Spike looked down at the floor and shrugged. "Wanted to make her feel what I felt. How much it hurt to be used like some stupid sex toy the way she used me. I was never actually going to go through with it. Just wanted her to get a small taste of what she did to me. I wasn't really going to r-rape her. I thought maybe she would finally understand my feelings…but then she started crying. She said, "Ask me again why I could never love you." And I knew I'd gone too far. What I did didn't help. It made things worse. So I decided to leave. That way she couldn't hurt me and I couldn't hurt her."

"But something happened while you were away didn't it?"

"Yeah. I thought she'd finally like me better if I did it. She liked Sire better that way. So I did, but it burned like the sun. I came back to see If Red could make it go away, but Sire found me first and punished me. Made me scream and scream until my throat bled. Wouldn't let me leave. We'd be a family again, and he'd make sure I never did anything stupid like that again. Dru came back too, doing whatever daddy told her. Looking after me when Sire had to leave. Punishing me whenever Ms. Edith told her to. I tried my best to be a good boy again, but it's been so long. I forgot how. Buffy came though to teach me. She must have still hated me and wanted me to pay for what I'd done. Sire found that funny. He said Buffy was doing a good job at making me behave like a good childe. Her punishments were just as bad as his. So it worked."

"I see," Xander managed to choke out. This was all too much to think about right now. "Spike, please drink the blood now so we can get some sleep before we take our next flight."

Surprisingly Spike did as he was told and drank the blood before falling asleep on the couch. Xander covered him up with a blanket, and went to the bed to get some shuteye himself.

AN: Well how was it? Please **Review!**


	5. Fear the Sun

**Saving Spike**

Previously on Saving Spike 

"But something happened while you were away didn't it?"

"Yeah. I thought she'd finally like me better if I did it. She liked Sire better that way. So I did, but it burned like the sun. I came back to see If Red could make it go away, but Sire found me first and punished me. Made me scream and scream until my throat bled. Wouldn't let me leave. We'd be a family again, and he'd make sure I never did anything stupid like that again. Dru came back too, doing whatever daddy told her. Looking after me when Sire had to leave. Punishing me whenever Ms. Edith told her to. I tried my best to be a good boy again, but it's been so long. I forgot how. Buffy came though to teach me. She must have still hated me and wanted me to pay for what I'd done. Sire found that funny. He said Buffy was doing a good job at making me behave like a good childe. Her punishments were just as bad as his. So it worked."

"I see," Xander managed to choke out. This was all too much to think about right now. "Spike, please drink the blood now so we can get some sleep before we take our next flight."

Surprisingly Spike did as he was told and drank the blood before falling asleep on the couch. Xander covered him up with a blanket, and went to the bed to get some shuteye himself.

Chapter 5

**Fear the Sun**

"Yeah Giles, we're on our way to the airport now. You're sure the weather is going to be safe for him when we get there? I mean it will be daytime."

"Yes Xander. I'm sure. The forecast calls for full cloud coverage. Not a clear part in the sky. Spike will be safe. I promise," Giles replied.

"Right then. Okay. I guess we'll meet you there. And Giles…thanks," Xander said before turning off his cell phone and turning his attention to the man beside him.

Actually, man may not be the right word for Spike at the moment, thought Xander. Then he snorted quietly. Duh, vampire. But looking at Spike, he saw more of a child then a man. The way he was curled up in a ball on the seat, quietly sleeping. Fingers curled up by his mouth as though wanting to suck his thumb, but being to much of a "big boy" to do something so childish. Eyes fluttering as he dreams. Softly breathing in and out in a way that Xander knew vampires probably tended not to do. At the moment, Spike looked every bit like a child. And Xander knew that he would do anything to protect him.

**On the Plane**

"Spike you need to calm down. You're drawing attention to us." Spike immediately stopped fidgeting, but he didn't lose his nervous appearance.

Xander sighed, "What is it Spike?"

Spike glanced nervously at him, trying to judge if Xander was mad at him or not. A minute later, Spike dropped his gaze to the floor and whispered, "I don't like having my feet off the ground."

"Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!" Xander asked incredulously, but with amusement.

Spike shook his head violently and glared. "I'm not afraid of heights. It's just…I'm too close to the sky. The sun might get me."

"Spike, I promise the sun won't get you. It's night time, and tomorrow the sun won't be out," Xander said.

"But what if the plane crashes…and we fall into the ocean…and I can't get to land in time. Last time was too close. The sun almost got me before I got to the island to hide."

"Spike, what are you talking about?"

"Sire made me leave the submarine. Told me to swim for land before the sun burned me up. Almost didn't make it, but I did."

Xander blinked in confusion. "W-was the submarine taking on water or something? Is that why Angelus told you to leave?"

Spike said nothing for a moment. He had a pained look on his face before saying, "It was Angel, not Angelus. Sire had a soul then. He had to save the crew. I wasn't part of the crew. Didn't matter if I lived or died. Just had to leave. Get out. Go. Swimming and swimming. Not knowing when land would show itself. Thought I was going to burn. And Sire didn't care."

Xander felt his hate for Deadboy grow. "Well, there is nothing to worry about now. The plane is safe. And I'm here. I'll protect you."

AN: Sorry for the wait. How was it? Please review!


	6. Meeting Giles

**Saving Spike**

Last Time:

"Sire made me leave the submarine. Told me to swim for land before the sun burned me up. Almost didn't make it, but I did."

Xander blinked in confusion. "W-was the submarine taking on water or something? Is that why Angelus told you to leave?"

Spike said nothing for a moment. He had a pained look on his face before saying, "It was Angel, not Angelus. Sire had a soul then. He had to save the crew. I wasn't part of the crew. Didn't matter if I lived or died. Just had to leave. Get out. Go. Swimming and swimming. Not knowing when land would show itself. Thought I was going to burn. And Sire didn't care."

Xander felt his hate for Deadboy grow. "Well, there is nothing to worry about now. The plane is safe. And I'm here. I'll protect you."

Chapter 6

**Meeting Giles**

Xander smiled down at the blond vampire sleeping in the seat next to him. Regretfully he had to wake him up as the plane had landed and it was time to get off and go find Giles.

"Spike," he said softly, not wanting to scare him. Spike just snuggled next to him, causing Xander to smile. "Spike. It's time to get up." Spike slowly opened his eyes and smiled shyly when he saw Xander gazing at him. Xander smiled back and gently pulled Spike to his feet. Not letting go of Spikes hand, he led the vampire with him towards the exit. Once outside they both looked up wearily at the sky and sighed with relief when all they saw was thick rain clouds. No sun in sight.

Xander and Spike walked into the airport and Xander quickly spotted Giles waiting for them near the exit. "Giles!" He quickly pulled Spike along with him as he ran over to meet with his father figure, making sure not to let go of Spike's hand as he did so. He so did not want to lose Spike in this crowd.

Hugging Giles one-handed, as he still had one hand occupied, Xander finally looked over and noticed how upset his blond vampire looked. He was shaking slightly and looked awfully pale. Also the fact that he was trying to hide behind Xander just cemented the fact of how afraid he was.

Sighing, Xander squeezed Spikes hand in reassurance and slowly pulled him forward to face Giles. He didn't want to overwhelm him, but he needed Spike to feel comfortable around Giles now rather than later.

Spike shivered in his arms as he pulled him in front of him. "Spike it's alright. You know Giles. He's not going to hurt you, I promise." Spike's shivering calmed slightly. Xander rubbed his arms encouragingly and said to Giles, "Sorry G-man. Spike here has been having some people issues. You should have seen how he reacted when the flight attendant asked him if he wanted anything. That was interesting, and not in the good way. But were working on it. Aren't we Spike?" Spike nodded slowly and finally looked up shyly at Giles.

As strange as it was to see Spike acting like a child in front of him, Giles was glad to see Xander taking care of him. It looked as though Spike truly needed Xander, and Giles was sure that Xander would benefit greatly from having to care for Spike. He smiled and said, "Well it's good to see you both. Now what say we head home?"

Both boys smiled as they heard that. Home. They were on their way home.


End file.
